I’m not a saint . . . but I try hard to be one. When I think I can do it, I doubt myself. When I pray, I stop . . . to listen to see if God is talking back to me. I hear nothing. Then I say to myself, “are you nuts! God has better things to do than to sit and ‘chat’ with you. Go about your business and let Him be!” Then I start my day asking God to be with me today and tohelp me get through this day and it begins.
Little drops of faith showing me that there “is” a God and he doesn’t have to talk to me for me to know he’s “got my back.” Things happen that I don’t expect; the right song when I turn on the radio, a smile from a stranger that lifts my spirits, a plea for help from someone in need, a rainbow in the sky where there is no rain, a lady I meet that has the same name as my mother at the same moment I am thinking of her, when I make the right decisions when I don’t even know what I am supposed to do. Little signs that we miss along the way, because we are not focused on God but on ourselves.
We just have to look for him in everything we do, everything we see, and everyone we meet. And when things get the hardest, that’s when he’s with us the most. When I sin, and I realize it, I kneel down and say “forgive me, my Lord, for I have sinned,” and I know because of the cross I carry in my pocket to remind me of the sacrifice he made for me, that he will forgive me. Only I have to try harder to do better so I won’t hurt him again. And the struggle goes on, but I don’t give up because Our Heavenly Father will never give up on me as long as I love Him and believe in Him. That is all he asks of us.